Defeated

I understand people who work in offices are generally busy (especially government and academic offices), but I REALLY wish people would just take 10 seconds to answer my questions as opposed to directing me to websites that I’ve already scoured 15 times and that don’t have the information I’m asking about (which is why I’m e-mailing with my questions in the first place).

“Gypped”

So this is undoubtedly ignorant of me, but I just realized that the term “gypped” — as in to “cheat” someone out of something— is connected to the word “gypsy,” as in the Roma people. I seriously did not realize this—I always pictured the word in my head as “jipped” and had no idea it had racist connotations. Which is pretty horrifying, because I definitely use that term from time to time, which is the same thing as me saying I got “jewed” out of something (which I never have and never would say, obviously). Goddammit.

Just signed my Master Promissory Note

One step closer to doubling my already significant debt, woo!

Things happening in the next two weeks

1) I have to decide where I’m going to grad school, and I didn’t get the scholarship I was banking on and didn’t get as much financial aid as I hoped, and I need to figure out how to do this without fucking myself financially forever.

2) I haven’t gotten any feedback on my thesis and it’s due in 2 weeks. I’m not even sure he’s read it. And it’s 120 pages. I also need to finish it (only 5ish pages left), fix all the citations (which are sloppy), and add some new stuff that I want in there. Not to mention the tons of other schoolwork I have.

3) I’ve had about a thousand student organization obligations lately and I’m feel like I’m not living up to the needs of any of the organizations I’m involved in and it’s getting exhausting and I feel really guilty about it because I do really care about all of them.

3) My parents are in the midst of a divorce and selling our house. I have to go home and clean up all my stuff that’s there and get rid of it (no idea when I have time to do that). My mom is moving to New York by May 20th and my sister is moving to Boston at the same time. So in other words, not only am I saying goodbye to them for what will be at least a year (though I will probably fly out of NY and see my mom then), but I’m going to be stuck with my miserable father (who wants me to move home, but just…I can’t). 

So in other words, everything in my life is coming to a head right around May 15th and I just want to go to sleep for a while.

WHIIIINE.